The Day I Walked Buenos Aires

Me after a long day. Pancho NOT purchased in BA, but at Kohl's. Thanks for asking.

This is an apartment building near where I stayed.

My before picture.

A big statue.

Street Tango. Men who play instruments.

Cafe Tortoni-- and Diego

the most fantastic shop on earth.

We are everywhere.

Buenos Aires-- The Walking Tour

Also known as the day I walked BA.

My friend Diego showed up this morning after ditching me last night (rat bastard). We walked everywhere. Unlike Mexico city, the poverty here is not in your face, although we were chased by some gypsies into a church, but its all the same, right?

I tangoed in the street with an old old man. I didn't speak his language nor he mine, but for one song it was worth the memory. My tango is about as good as my Spanish. I want to be led but don't know how not to be uncomfortable being led. Fiercely independent puts me at odds for dancing partners.

After hours and hours we ended up at dinner on the river, wine, conversation and time to catch up. I did a quick reading of him, but he is not one to be read, and so let it go. Seven hours later he dropped me at my hotel and I took a much deserved swim.

I was conscience of my ear issues in the pool. I floated and then had a complete flash to being young, maybe 7 or 8 and always taking a bath after dinner. I would stay in the water for hours and one time fell asleep in the tub. I loved hearing the water full up my ears because it would block out everything else. I let myself do the same thing in the pool, just let the schoomp, schoomp sound take everything away. Next time you ask me about the happy place, its in the pool. Or the bathtub. Or any water that I can float in.

My feet hurt. My head hurts from trying to speak in Spanish all day. I prayed in a couple of cathedrals. I want to come back here and experience it with someone I love. Its too beautiful to be alone. Life is too beautiful to fill with solitary moments. Someday.

Until tomorrow. Be safe, be well. Hope you are doing well, you are too precious for chaos.

Buenos Aires

I smile as I write that because I want to write "as promised".

11 hours in coach wasn't as bad as it could have been. I shared a row with a girl that could have been me 10 years ago- wide eyed to the world, wanting to teach, moving back to her folks to save money. We have all been there.

It was interesting to be on the other side of me, someone who is super friendly, loud, loving life and a bit of a free spirit. It was refreshing. I get why folks are attracted to me, I'm funny and am easy to get along with. Everything's an adventure. Everything.

Landing in BA - well it looks like north Carolina. The leaves are changing because it is fall, which I knew but forgot.

My driver doesn't speak much English, and my Spanish is terrible, so we are getting along with him speaking in Spanish and me saying Ahh a lot.

My hotel is nice. Now I am in the bar waiting for my friends to show up for dinner (its almost 10 but that's how they do it here). Across from me is a banker from south Africa that keeps trying to engage in small talk. He seems skeevey and keeps taking his ring off and on. Eew, no. I've done "married but dating" and it is just not worth the price of admission. Tomorrow I will see some city.

I did watch a rugby match on espn between cuba and paraguay that was interesting. Although, I was trying to fall asleep, so really anthing would have done.

the bar in the hotel-- the "Library" so civilized.

Thoughts from BA

Awesome!

Long lunches, long dinners, argentine tour guides.

I like my life. I want to stay here longer but have to go back to my real life. The real one with junk mail and English TV and trash day. I like that life too.

I want to share that bit along with the glamourous bits. Junk mail and taxis in foreign countries.

Steakhouses and room service along side ramen noodles and kitchen sink meals. Laughter in fancy lounges and porch rocking chairs.

Me first, then another, then the world.

The Best Meal in France and conference end

I realize that I have done a great documentary of what's been up emotionally for me during my time in the land of conferences. I hope you have laughed some because I am looking back on them and loving this documentation of emotional roller coaster as well as amazing experiences and am very glad I did this. And that I sent it to you who knows me in a different context than the rest of the world. It's like having a friend to whisper to- evetone thinks I work so hard when instead it is that I am writing an opus to send to you! If they only knew!

Appetizers before the appetizers

So last entry on conference time, although you might get another while I sit at the airport. Lucky you!




After a long night of real Russian vodka (those boys are so nice) and disco dancing with the brits, the conference has ended. And then I napped-I nap so well! Naps are one of the best simple pleasures- because I always feel like I can do it all after having one. It's like giving into being tired and taking care of myself. Had dinner and wine with my favorite Japanese businessman, he showed me pictures of his daughter and we discussed the language barrier.

Appetizers

I so am an old hair band chick- but I keep singing in my head- motley crue's home sweet home. Ah to be 15 yet again! When I get home tomorrow night, my apartment will be infused with new color and love- two of the best gay guys a girl can have are painting and fixing and creating a new lovely space for me to rest my head. I am so lucky- I have fantastic examples of awesome men all around me, straight, gay, and "not particular" - all of which restore my confidence, boost my ego, love and cherish me, and most importantly, keep me safe.

Dessert. Come. On.

I've run my bath, and now it is time for me to tuck myself in. I am back tomorrow night late and have a long day of work Monday but Tuesday I am sleeping in and taking it off. I think all day in pj's is in order! Be well and thank you for listening out there in email land. I cherish my time with you to collect my thought and connect to my heart space.

France and Gressy

My room and the view from my room. I think it looks like Napa, don't you?

I have just finished my first day of full conference and am tired but happy. The day went well but most importantly I feel like I am doing something worthwhile.


When I spend so much time away from home, I tend to lose my balance. However this time I feel like I am keeping the good bits of myself, although right now I am sitting on a couch watching people disco dance to bad french music. Interesting but I think I'll be happy to come back to the land of liberty, where if nothing else I speak the language.



Everyone here smokes and yet I am still a non-smoker. I am proud of me. I am really proud of me.



The English are dancing to French pop music. Playing pool. Wankers. I love them.

Gressy En France

Its beautiful. I contemplate moving here, just for the beauty of it. I am in the middle of the country and love it. I imagine we have places like this in the US, but its the fantasy of being an outsider and uncovering the secrets of the land, the people, and my secrets. Without it being about love or sex, its just a romantic place to be, to get lost in the poetry of it, feel the living thrive and there is no rush for anything. I love it. I'm loving the quiet mind for the moment. Hopefully it will last.

More London

I walked and walked and walked and ended up on a back street that Jack the Ripper had frequented. It is very spooky across the river, the Globe was closed, but the gift shop was open, and I just kept walking until I could walk no more.
A deserted shop street, covered. At this point I had no idea where I was, and all the taxis were full. My feet hurt, I was cold, and for sure I was not not not going to get on the tube.

Found a taxi, (thank god I looked like an American girl this driver used to date) and after a quick chat, I asked about having the typical London experience, as I didn't want to spend the evening eating in my hotel room, alone, again. He took me to Covent Garden. I watched opera singers in the plaza, drank a glass of wine with the South Africans, and sang italian folks songs with a group of tourists between the shops. How is it that my life is so blessed that I ended up with the best cider and shepard's pie in the world?

More Pictures, Day 2

I can never get away from the fairies, can I?

The View from my Room of One's Own

St. Paul's Cathedral, from the back.

Over the Bridge

Imagine being silent for an entire day, walking around, red jacket and scarf in place, blustery winds, in a country where you actually do speak the language. You have no map, but a general idea of where you are going and what you are up to. That is London.

Day 2, London

Magical is a word I like to describe my perfect life- between the moments of sleep and dream where I create my life and anything is possible.

Today was magical. I took myself out for a proper dinner and a play. I loved it, I spent many years in one of my previous lives (about 10 years ago) I went to a lot of shows and loved it. Then didn't love it anymore as it became my work, so stopped going to see shows. I've missed it and it felt familiar like an old friend.

And you? How was your day in the city? Do you love what you do? Is it difficult dealing and releasing or processing all of that energy all day? You have to know I am completely fascinated by what you do, intrigued by your process and your ability to cut out all the crap to get to the heart of it all. I feel I am doing a lot of talking at you, I hope you are okay with that. I like very much to write to you- you can pick out the useful bits and toss the rest. And since you aren't a big email person, I appreciate every word you want to write and even more the ones I have strong armed you into writing. But mostly I like that somehow I have been heard and understood and validated- and you are the prince of that! Thank you! To be honest, you said keep writing and the floodgates just opened and now I don't want to stop! The asking for help comes in waves, I am not in crisis, I am taking care of myself and I feel like I am in the zone. My head wants to doubt it but my heart knows what's real and true.

But back to magical- it snowed today, great big gloopy snowflakes- snow is unusual here- and twas beautiful, magical, and inspiring. I've got a good life with some muck in it- but a great life nonetheless! Paris tomorrow. What will my first time in a new country bring? Read my mind or Stay tuned to find out!

Be well! Is there anything you'd like back from Paris? Miniature effiel tower keychains? Wine? Do you even drink wine at all?Be well. I'm in a great state today.

London First, March 2007

Today was glorious.

Being in this city alone with nothing but my thoughts to entertain me. I pitched coins into a beautiful guitarist's hat after I listened to his song for a while. Went on a walk that took me across two bridges and a couple of miles, and asked the cabbie to take me to his favorite place in London.

After walking some more around covent garden, ate a great meal and had an awesome conversation with some south African girls on holiday. I watched street performers of all types. And loved every second of it!

I waved goodbye to the bouncer at the bar that was too smoky for me to stay in. Totally bold for me in two ways- acknowledging attention given to me and not staying in a place that can damage my health or growth into who I really am.

My quiet mantra today: keep quietly in this moment. You are enough.

My heart space has opened up. I can sleep, and when I can't I breathe in and out: I am enough. Or try to do the occasional math problem in my head, that can put me right out.